PCP Afterthoughts

Sorry it took a little while for this final post. I wanted a few days post-PCP to see how I would incorporate it into my everyday world and to process all my thoughts about this experience.

First off, I cannot believe how amazing everyone looks! Thanks to Patrick and Chen for creating such a great program that actually works! And I'm super excited about the maintenance workouts. These past 3 days, I've just been doing the jump rope and 8ma, not really knowing where to go on the strength exercises, but now I have something to follow!

I know that diet will be my number one downfall in maintaining all the progress I've made, but I also know that I am capable of eating healthy and being happy eating healthy.

I can't emphasize how happy I am that I have done this program. What a perfect way to end college and enter a new phase of my life. I've landed dream job doing what I love in the legal field for the next year, so I'm really excited about that. My plan is to work, save some money, and then travel for a few months before I head off to law school.

PCP has helped me land another job of sorts. I just got signed with a modeling agency to be a leg and foot model, which weird as it sounds, actually pays pretty well for doing shoe catalogues, etc. And in my test shoots, the muscles in my legs are so well defined, I know I have all the squats, lunges, and jumping ropes to thank!

This has been a wonderful experience, and I cannot believe how these 90 days flew by. The last 45 went by especially quick for me. I'm excited to make this lifestyle a permanent one and continue to reap the benefits of a healthy body and mind!

Day 89

ONE MORE DAY.

After I did my set of shoulder, tricep, and bicep exercises, I thought my arms were going to fall off. As I was sweating it out, I though about how the workouts only last an hour tops, but the results last much longer. That thought alone is enough to give an hour of my day towards creating a healthy body.

Over these past 90 days, I've really fallen in love with jumping rope. Yes, there are still some days where I cannot jump rhythmically for the life of me, but when I do get into the groove, it is quite enjoyable. I'll admit, a lot of that probably has to do with the location of my jumping rope. At school, I did it on my porch over looking a pretty wooded area. And at home, I also do it on my top porch, overlooking the marsh and ocean. I'm eye level with the oak trees in my yard, and for the past week or so, I've observed a squirrel making its nest. The area on the porch where I jump rope almost always has a breeze and the combination of a breeze blowing through as I jump rope is like paradise.

I got Watson's gift yesterday (Go Team, Go!) and it was great. Perfect end to our PCP program. I won't ruin it for those that might not have gotten it yet.

One more day!

Day 85

Hmmm. I don't know which is harder. Planks, or v-sits. Those v-sits always make my abs burn like no other and I really can't imagine the day when I can do 400 easy peasy as Patrick alludes to in his email. I am excited about finding some new ab exercises to add to my workout and I've been perusing the women's health website. Pre-PCP, I loved looking at all the different types of workouts the website offered, and now I definitely plan on doing a few.

I went to a funeral this past weekend. It was short and sweet and as all funerals are, was a reminder of my own mortality and how I want to spend my time. I'm so happy to be on a healthy track and although my dedication has waned at times, I am definitely committed to continuing this lifestyle.

5 DAYS!

Day 81

I've started to get things rolling in the career front and I had a very promising lead today that I hope works out. Things are slowly coming together as I create my life back home. My room's getting cleaner, I'm going to sign up for yoga next week, and also sewing lessons.

As the days near towards the end of PCP, I find that I have a harder time sticking to the diet. I certainly haven't completely jumped off the wagon, consuming copious amounts of sugar, salt, or anything like that, but I've slacked off on my protein intake. My staple protein was shrimp and right now no where is selling any. But today I got some frozen salmon from whole foods that actually was quite delicious. The workouts are still on track, but I haven't performed them with my usual gusto. Feeling under the weather certainly didn't help, but now my throat is finally starting to feel normal again. I don't know why I suddenly petered out so close to the end of PCP. I want to go out with a bang on day 90, not with a whimper. I haven't worked so hard up to this point only to achieve a "healthy" condition. I want "peak" condition.

Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to make the most of these last 9 days. Everyone in the March group looks amazing. I seriously cannot believe the results everyone is getting; so proud to be part of such a great group!

Day 77

So close. 13 more days. wow.

Yesterday I was feeling really off- just super tired and kind of ill. My throat has been bothering me the past few days and shows no signs of letting up. Yesterday morning, when I started jumping rope, my side started to really hurt. This has happened about two or three other times in the course of PCP and usually i just push through the pain. But because I was already under the weather I just couldn't do it. I made it through one set of 6 mins and then half of the next set before I quit. I have no idea what causes the pain. I hadn't eaten anything "bad". I didn't feel good enough to do the rest of the workout, but I did it today.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to get to the yoga studio and sign up for a membership. My room is still far from clean and organized. I just need to push myself to get back into gear.

Day 75

I feel like I've hit the ground running since I've been home. Between cleaning, traveling to help my dad with work, and preparing for my mom's birthday tomorrow, I haven't made time to post my latest progress pics.

The PCP has been on my mind so much that the other night I had a dream two of my best friends decided to join the program. I remember thinking to myself, "Do they know they can't drink for 90 days?"

I've been sticking to the workouts and diet. I know I already kind of used my indulgence so we'll see if I can withstand the cake we'll have for my mom's bday tomorrow!

Day 71

Wow, this last week flew by. And between graduation parties and family outings, I'll admit, I was not living up to my PCP motto...which is basically, "do what Patrick says in his emails", haha.

Honestly, I didn't completely let go. I stuck to the workouts 100%, but I only got 8 minute abs in about 4/7 days instead of my usual 7/7. And I let a few things into my mouth that rhyme with the word schmocolate. I am disappointed that I let up on the PCP rules so close to the end, but I am going to give it my all these last 20 days, and recognize that letting go for a few days is not an excuse to suddenly give up on all your exercise and diet endeavors. This lifestyle is something I plan on continuing well after day 90 and I know there will be times when I might let up a little. But the important thing is to not let that bump in the road be the end of the road.

My next few days (well probably weeks at my pace) are going to be filled packing up boxes and unpacking boxes so that my room at home can become livable again. In these past four years, my room has accumulated a lot of crap and a lot of memories. After both my study aways, I shoved a lot of stuff in boxes and just left them in the corner of my room. But now that my room is no longer a resting place for a few weeks, but for a whole year, I want it spick and span. I want it to be organized and welcoming, a space all my own. This is going to take time and patience to carry out, but I know the results will be worth it. I'm already becoming a minimalist. I've filled four huge bags of clothes and shoes to go to goodwill. Cleaning really makes you think about what is important to you and what you know you really shouldn't be holding on to.

But as enlightening as cleaning can be, I really wish I had a magic wand and my room would be perfect and clean right now.

Day 69

I'M GRADUATING TODAY!!!!

A nostalgic post is sure to come in the next few days...

But in PCP news, my roommates have packed up all the cooking utensils, so my meals until I move out tomorrow will have to be a little improvised. I won't be able to follow the diet perfectly, but I will do my best.

So weird how these 4 years have flown by!

Day 67

Ahh, if only all 4 years of college were like this. No classes, no tests, just hanging out with friends and doing only what interests you.

Yesterday, I got a free massage, courtesy of the yoga studio I go to. They were handing out passes to a nearby massage place a few weeks ago, so I scheduled an appointment for the day after the last of my exams. It was great, such a treat for relaxation and all for only the price of a tip!

My indulgence last night went pretty well. I only ended up having one glass of wine and then a drink concoction called a "creamsicle" with some sort of alcohol in it. Both pretty good, but actually left my stomach feeling a little heavy and weird. I had a few brownies to top it off as a true indulgence. So that should hold me off for the next 23 days...You would think working out this morning would have been awful, but I actually loved it. I imagined all the sweat was the alcohol and brownie toxins pouring out of me. Probably false, but nice imagery and motivation!

Now that I know I have a full year before going to law school, I've already started thinking of some of the things I want to accomplish. I've been reading the last in the series of Simone de Beauvoir's autobiography, and it's given me a lot of inspiration for living a life full of enriching experiences. Autobiographies are one of my favorite genres to read because it's all adventures that actually happened! I know I want to brush up on my French, aka become fluent. A lofty goal, but I was well on my way to achieving it when I lived there. And, of course, I want to continue all my PCP progress well into this summer and beyond!

Day 65- Freedom (For a YEAR!)

So in the course of a few hours, I took my last exams as a college student and figured out what direction I want to go next year. After some consideration, I decided to defer law school for a year. I think my initial hesitation came more from the shock and the idea of such a drastic alteration to my plans. But after I actually thought of what I would be gaining in that year off, it was a no brainer. I've gone from shock and hesitation to excitement at the endless possibilities of what I can do with this year. I know I'm going to look for a job and try save as much money as possible, but that still leaves time for me to pursue my interests and passions. I can read all those books that are on my "list", I can explore my love of photography, I can really focus on my yoga practice. Basically do all the things that studying in law school would detract from.

I learned my lesson in decision making from picking a law school. Basically I knew UVA was right from the moment I visited, but I had to drag it out for almost two months, just to end up going with my gut reaction. And so with the decision to defer, after the shock wore off, deferring just felt right. And instead of debating it endlessly with myself and with family, I decided to just go ahead and make the decision that I know I'll make in a week anyways. So now instead of being stressed about what to do, I've already decided and am relaxed and happy. Hopefully this is a new direction for my perpetually indecisive self!!

In PCP land, things are still good. I love having few types of exercises with more sets. It practically forces me to go until failure and it just doesn't drag as much as those past few weks workouts did. And the food is still going well. I think I am going to use tomorrow night as my last indulgence as I think that's what it will end up being.

For the past few days whenever I make my breakfast mixture of eggs and veggies, my roommates always go, "OMG that smells so gooood!" And yesterday one of them asked for the recipe. I was almost embarrassed to tell her just how easy it was to make. But it just goes to show that healthy food can be just as enticing as some buttered up fancy meal!

Day 64

So today, right before an exam, I found out something that could very well change my immediate future plans. I found out that UVA will give me a pretty significant scholarship to go in 2011, which would require deferring for a year. They just don't have the money to offer me a scholarship this year. At first, I was like no way. I already have my roommates and am about to sign a lease on an apartment, but then I thought about it more. Deferring would allow me time to regroup, get a job, earn some money so I can take out even less loans, and I could hang out with friends sticking around in Charleston. But at the same time, I would have to live at home (well I could find an apartment but that seems silly when I'm trying to save money) and I might feel a little aimless. So I haven't made a decision by any means, but I do need to decide in a few days so I can tell my roommates, etc. This is one of those curveball situations that requires a total realigning of your mind. Basically what I thought was a guaranteed future might not be the reality. So it definitely takes a readjustment of thinking. I meditated about it after my exam, trying to breathe in possibility and breathe out stress.

In PCP world, I don't want to speak too soon, but I think today's workout might have taken me out of the valley. I have never enjoyed a workout so much. It was definitely hard and required a lot of effort, but I felt great and rejuvenated when it was over. I was inspired by Ren's post about not letting up during these last 26 days. I'm so pleased with my results, but I know I'm not at my peak condition...yet.

Two more exams tomorrow and then freedom!

Day 63

I ended up having a great day Friday. The tubing was just what I needed to relax (and it was a gorgeous day) and then I ended up going out that night! While I didn't drink anything, I did choose the designated night where I will partake in the tradition of drinking after all the exams are over. That night happens to fall on Cinqo de Mayo, so I think it should be pretty fun! I know I will have to break the PCP no alcohol rule, but I think this one time is worth it. We'll see how it goes!

As classes are over, I find my days much less structured and I've been sleeping in pretty late (like 9:30 or 10). Of course I'll be getting up early tomorrow and Tuesday for exams, but this has made me think about my schedule this summer. Although I don't enjoy actually getting up from bed early, I definitely am happy once I'm up. I like having that extra hour or two of free time, and I would like to continue that this summer. I'm glad that PCP extends into the summer so I'll learn how to incorporate it into my "lazy" life before I have to do it all on my own.

Food wise, things are going well. But I do have to confess to one attachment that has developed. The Pepperidge Farm 100% Whole Wheat Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Bread has replaced chocolate as my new crack. It has become a pretty good size of my carb allotment each day. Now, it is 100% whole wheat, so I'm hoping that there's nothing wrong with it, but because of the presence of cinnamon and raisin, I'm thinking there might be...I certainly don't want to replace one food addiction with another (chocolate for bread?), but the swirl bread does bring me a certain amount of satisfaction that makes the rest of the PCP diet more than bearable.

Day 60

Really? We're at day 60? ALREADY???!

As this is the two week "party mode" period at my school (despite those pesky few days devoted to exams), I'm already struggling with finding a balance. It seems every social occasion surrounds food, and heavy, salty, sugary food at that. I went to the local baseball game tonight (it's a huge social thing) after my yoga class. My friends wanted me to come straight from yoga, well, actually they wanted me to skip yoga altogether, but I hadn't eaten dinner yet. I knew I could go straight to the game and my only dinner options would be some funnel cake and fries, which wouldn't even have been appetizing to me pre-PCP. So I went home, made my dinner, and then drove back downtown to go to the game. Yes, that was a lot of driving (I'll try to even out my carbon footprint tomorrow!), but it was worth it. The yoga class really left me feeling centered and stretched, and my homemade dinner was the perfect finish. And I didn't really miss anything by coming an hour or two late. I still got to hang out with my friends. Of course, they were all drinking and eating nachos or bacon fries (a pretty weird combination), but it wasn't hard at all to pass on the beer or the food.

Tomorrow I'm going tubing down a river up in the mountains and then going to a concert that night. The purpose of the tubing trip is to get drunk while lazy-ing on down the river, but I think I'll have just as much fun enjoying the scenery sober. Somehow I need to get some studying in along with the workouts and the social life!

Day 59

I've noticed that the days I find the workouts especially tedious, are the days I don't work up a sweat. I know that sweating doesn't really mean anything, but for some reason, it makes me feel like I'm really working hard and it feels extra good when the workout is over and I get to shower off. It's usually on the days that we don't do leg strengtheners that I don't sweat. Something about those squats and lunges really make the rest of the work out extra intense. Now don't get me wrong, those triceps and shoulder moves are just as tough (actually probably tougher). But I usually don't feel completely tapped out the way I do after a leg day. This is probably my own fault. I guess I need to ramp it up on the off-leg days!

I can definitely tell that this is sort of a PCP valley. The new-ness has worn off, the workouts have become routine, the meals have become routine. In a way that's good because this is now my normal life! Eating healthy and working out is no longer an irregular occurrence, I do it every day. I can't believe only one more day until day 60. At first the PCP days came and went slowly, but now the weeks fly by!

Day 58-A Reality Check

I wasn't going to blog today, but then something just happened a few hours ago, that compelled me to sit down and write this. Without giving too many details, (although I'm pretty positive no one knows anyone who I'm talking about) one of my roommates was found this afternoon unconscious and unresponsive, due to an excessive consumption of alcohol. The campus police came, the fire department came, the EMS people came with the ambulance, it was quite the commotion. About two hours later, she finally agreed to go to the hospital and my other roommates went with her.

I'm not even that close with my roommate, but the whole thing really shook me up. It's the last day of classes today (LDOC baby!) and so everyone is, of course, getting completely wasted. But this situation is a clear example of how alcohol can be so dangerous if abused. I've never been too much of a drinker and situations like this make me thankful for that. I know most people can be totally fine and never abuse alcohol, but for those few that do, it is so devastating. This isn't the first time this has happened with my roommate, and sadly it probably won't be the last. But it definitely is sobering for anyone to witness.

After everyone finally left the apartment, I sat down and meditated. It was pretty difficult to calm my mind, but it definitely helped me focus and process everything. I've been pretty consistent about meditating for 10 minutes a day the last week or so. I'm hoping it will become as much of a habit as working out by the end of PCP.

Tonight, I had a reality check that things can get serious really quickly when it comes to alcohol. Of course, it's not like I'll never drink again. But I think I will be extra mindful when I do.

Day 57

Today I am now officially an alumni of the Chi Omega sorority, the first of many endings (or beginnings) in the weeks to come. We had a big senior banquet tonight where your "family" gives you gifts and it's really sentimental and sweet. I'm not even that much of a participant in my sorority, but it definitely made me pause and appreciate everything I've done through Chi O in the last 4 years. Anyways, I promise there is a PCP connection in this nostalgia.

First off, I wore high heels to this event tonight. Let me just say, I NEVER wear high heels. Ever. Not worth the pain. But these have a sort of platformish heel, so they are not nearly as uncomfortable as the usual pairs (they're the ones in the pic above). Also I feel self-consciously tall in the few occasions I do wear them. But I bought a dress this weekend and these shoes to go with them, so I decided to face my fear of heels and the height and go for it. And I'm glad I did. I'm actually not that tall in them. I'm only 5 "6", so they only make me about 5 "8" or 5 "9". And they weren't that bad. Will I be wearing them every day? Hell no. But at least I know that when I want to turn it up a bit, those shoes will be there. Through the PCP, I'm inspired to try things I might normally not, like wear a high pair of heels. And I'm learning that it's worth putting yourself out there, and taking risks.

The second thing is obvious in its PCP connection. So, dinner was served at the senior banquet and the dessert was this layered chocolate cake. I didn't pick up a piece when going through the buffet line, and figured problem solved. But when I sat down, a friend brought over an extra piece of cake and then my chi o family, was like "have some!" When I said I didn't really want any, they literally said, "But Abby! You love chocolate! You have to have it!" And placed the cake in front of me. Now, this proves my claim that I really am known for being a gluttonous choco-holic (in my pre-PCP life, that is). So I had a bite....and was actually disappointed. It was good, but not nearly as good as that other chocolate cake I tried a few days ago. So I had one more little bite and then discreetly placed it on the waiter's tray when my friends weren't looking. It would've been easy to eat the whole thing, I mean everyone expected it! But I found I didn't actually want it, which was an amazing thing to realize. I said before that I was good on the sweets until the next indulgence, and I think I really am. No sweet seems worth compromising my PCP goals right now.

Day 56

How many kitchen mishaps can a PCPr have in one day?

I just got back from a relaxing weekend at home (yeah, I know I go home a lot for someone about to graduate, but there's a relaxation factor I get at home that cannot be undervalued) and decided to start prepping all my veggies and eggs for the week. So I cut up my bell peppers and onions and started steaming. I went to my room to start some homework, and 13 minutes later, I smelled something funny and realized it was the veggies! They were burning! So now that pot is ruined. I mean, it'll still be usable and we're in college so we'll still use it, but it won't ever return to it's pre-burn shiny glory :(

After about 15 minutes scrubbing that pot as clean as I could, I decided to boil some eggs. Well when I checked on them 12 minutes later, 2 of the eggs had cracked, leaving a big white puffy mess all over the pot. So I sadly had to throw those two eggs away and spend another 5 minutes cleaning the pot again!

And I also realized I forgot to bring back all the shrimp that my mom had bought me just for PCP. 3 lbs of shrimp still back at home, sitting in the freezer. I'm pretty disappointed about that.

So how many kitchen mishaps can a PCPr have in one day? Well, I've had two and a half so far, but I haven't even attempted making dinner yet.....

At least I had my indulgence over the weekend. On Saturday, I bought some Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream, the best flavor in my opinion. Basically crack for any chocolate lover. It was delicious, beyond amazing. I wish I could say I rationed it out, eating it throughout the day, but I ate the whole caloric alloted amount in one sitting. I mean, I tried to eat slowly and appreciate each bite, but before I knew it, I was almost halfway through the pint and it was time to stop. I probably had too much in one sitting, because I did feel a little sick afterwards, but the feeling went away pretty quickly. It definitely satisfied my sweet tooth for a while; I think I'll be just fine until the next indulgence!

Day 53

Hmmm, workouts have been going better since Tuesday. Now that I kind of expect a higher level of difficulty (not that it wasn't plenty hard before!), I 'm less taken aback by the increasing amount of time I devote to the workout.

I was inspired by Ren's "confession" blog of sorts where he admitted what he cheats on in terms of PCP. I was going to mention today's incident anyways, but that was a good prompter as well.

So, today after I finished lunch, I had the biggest hankering for something sweet. Not fruit, not yogurt, not sugar free gum, only chocolate-y goodness would do. And that would be the cake that's been sitting out for almost a week now. I figured I would have one bite, it would taste old, and that would be that. Well, I must say, it was better than I ever imagined. The frosting was still perfect, the cake the perfect moist consistency and I had 3 more bites. And then...I stopped. Yes, it occurred to me that I could take a whole piece (or more) and make it my indulgence, but the whole point of an indulgence is to do it on your terms, not from giving in to a sweet tooth attack.

While this could be looked at as a weak point where I fell off the diet (which I am aware it was), I prefer to see it as a sign of progress. In a way I think it's more realistic to have a taste of those tantalizing foods every once in awhile rather than act like they don't exist. It's good for me to practice having only a few bites, and then stopping, rather than stuffing my face. That has been where I always fail in the past. So instead of freaking out about what those 4 bites of chocolate cake are going to do to my PCP progress, I'm going to recognize that this was a rare occurrence and celebrate the fact that I didn't go into my usual chocolate frenzy!! I hope this doesn't downgrade me from a blackbelt!

In other news, I've started focusing on my yoga practice again. Last week, I did not attend a single class (which is rare) and so this week I have made it a point to go. I've been 3 times already and really appreciate what it does for my body and mind. I'm really looking forward to this summer when I can go to the yoga studio I attended over Spring Break.

I realized the other day that in my halfway-point goal reflection blog, I forgot to mention one very important goal I made. That was to have a regular meditation practice. Of course, it's been the hardest one to keep. But I've really focused on it the past few days, and am working on making it a daily thing.

Day 51

I struggled to get through the workout this morning. I don't know exactly why today was especially difficult. I slept fine last night. It was mainly a mental block, rather than physical limitations. I made the classic mistake of looking ahead on the workout sheet, rather than just focusing on what was immediately ahead of me. Now I do this almost every day and it's not that big of a deal, but the increased number of sets today on nearly everything sort of psyched me out. I completed everything in my usual time, but I did not get the same endorphin rush I usually do. It felt like more of a task than a joy. And usually I really enjoy my workouts. I figure this will happen time to time though. Even on the days I don't enjoy the workout, I still appreciate what I'm doing for my body.

A recent shopping trip this weekend helped me appreciate all the effort I put into PCP. There was a mega sale at Banana Republic and I bought a graduation dress and a few other things. Now with girls, there are two kinds of attitudes when buying clothes. Dread, because you feel bad about yourself and think nothing will fit, or excitement because you feel great and know that the clothes you want should fit well. Luckily I was in the latter attitude. Everything I tried on fit perfectly and it was a huge boost for my self esteem to not have to struggle into any dresses. The things I wanted fit! Of course, it put on some added pressure post-PCP to keep the weight off so the clothes I bought will continue to fit, but I'm confident I can do it.

Saw an interesting article today in the Science section of the NY Times. All about the media's role in promoting the junk food culture of kids. No wonder it's so hard to eat healthy in the U.S.!

Day 50

Our new diets have added some interesting additions to my day. Protein for breakfast? For me that means adding some tasty shrimp into my veggie egg scramble. Quite good. But carbs pre-workout? That I am not enjoying so much. I'll admit I only had about half of the 50 grams and I definitely noticed it made me feel a little sluggish during the workout. And then with the yogurt and egg post-workout, I only had the egg. Since I basically wake up, jump rope, do my workout, shower and then eat breakfast, it's a lot of food to eat before I even start my day, if I eat everything alloted. So, Patrick is it okay to go a little lighter on the pre-workout carbs and maybe skip the yogurt if I'm not hungry?

Our recent email about carbs made me think about my own history with whole wheat foods. I've grown up on whole wheat bread as long as I can remember. Whenever I went over to a friend's house as a child and they had white bread, it was always such a treat! Of course now, that stuff kind of grosses me out, but probably only because I'm so used to whole wheat.

Growing up I loved having sweet cereals for breakfast like Lucky Charms and in late elementary school, one summer, my mom made me a deal. She said everyday I ate whole wheat bran flakes (with soy milk) she would give me a dollar. I don't think I ever actually saw the money, but it took about a week for me to fall in love with the bran and forget about the charms. Ever since then whole wheat bran flakes have been my breakfast staple. I switched from soy milk to almond milk about a year ago, but other than that, still the same!

As far as other whole wheat options go, I only eat whole wheat bagels, whole wheat pasta, etc. Basically if there's an option of a food in whole wheat, I'll take it. So at least I've always been on track with one element of the PCP diet!

Now, salty foods is another matter. I was recently informed by Patrick that my beloved Morning Star chicken nuggets are too salty to be considered healthy! Oh NO! I was addicted to that stuff pre-PCP and it will probably be a treat post-PCP.